One thing I think that is common to most, if not all bereaved parents, is guilt. I have been dealing with mine. Logically I know I couldn't have stopped his death but I still feel guilt. On the morning of his death, at 10:30am Iraqi time, 1:30am my time, I lay awake in bed. Normally I would have been asleep but that night I couldn't seem to relax. I was just about to doze off when I had a sudden, urgent need to pray for Adam. I wish so much now, that I had gotten out of bed, face down on the floor and prayed like I had never prayed before. But I didn't. I lay in bed and said a quick prayer for Adam's safety, just like I did every night. I keep asking myself, "would that have made a difference?" was God telling me to pray for Adam's life? his salvation? I am struggling with my relationship with God. I have never doubted that God is real or in control but I have questioned his reasons for taking Adam. Is it wrong to question God?
