DON'T BE AFRAID TO SAY HIS NAME
Please don't be afraid to say his name.He lived and was important to us. We need to hear his name.

If we cry and get emotional talking about him, please understand it isn't because of something you said or did. The fact that our child has died causes our tears. They are part of our healing.

Please don't devalue our child's life by removing his pictures or other remembrances from your home.We will have our emotional highs and lows, ups and downs.

Please don't think that if we have a good day, our grief is over - or that if we have a bad day, we need to see a psychiatrist.The death of a child is different from other losses. It is the ultimate tragedy, not to be compared with the loss of a parent, spouse, or pet.

Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so please don't shy away from us. We need you.

Depression, anger, frustration, hopelessness, questioning of values and beliefs are to be expected following the death of a child. Allow us to feel these emotions without feeling guilty.

Don't expect our grief to be over in six months. We will never be cured or former bereaved parents, but will forever more miss and grieve for our child.

If we are not publicly hysterical, please do not consider that we are strong or doing well. Our minds and hearts are very likely screaming, and it is only a matter of time before we have to escape the public eye and retreat to our privacy to cry and scream.

Please send us a note saying you're thinking of us or praying for us. We draw on your support and strength. Although we aren't feeling sociable, your cards are important to us.

Understand our physical reactions to grief. We may gain or lose weight,sleep all the time, or none at all. Birthdays and holidays are difficult times.

Please tell us you are thinking of our child on these days and share your memories with us.

Avoid comments like "Get on with your life, you'll feel better", or"If you keep busy, you won't think about him". We want to think about him. Denial is much less painful than the reality that is our terror.

Don't suggest anti-depressants. We are not depressed. We are sad. There is a big difference. The only way to get through the grief is to experience it.

Understand that grief changes people. We are not the same people we were before our child died. We are forever changed. Try to get to know the new us, maybe you will still like us.Be patient with us.When in doubt of how to act around us - just ask.
~Unknown~