It's been a hard day but everyday is hard. I can't quit crying. I miss Adam so much. I close my eyes and remember the last time I saw him,"don't worry Mom, I'll be alright" I feel his face in my hands, the stubble. He hugs me and kisses me goodbye. I'm so afraid. I'm so scared. Please come home to me, PLEASE!!
I keep seeing the Marines sitting in my driveway. Oh God, NO, please, NO. Wake me up, please! this can't be real. It's got to be a nightmare!! PLEASE GOD!!!! Then, please just let me die. But I don't die either. I just go on. If it weren't for my other children I think I would just lay down and wait for death.